


Ghosts That We Knew

by heyweareahurricane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Coming Out, Depression, Disapproving Family, Drinking, Gen, M/M, Tattoos, big secret, human!Louis, my tags have given away my story oh well, robot!louis, university!harry, university!liam, university!niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyweareahurricane/pseuds/heyweareahurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a secret. It's not his fault, he didn't ask for it. He's just the ghost of someone who once was</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts That We Knew

**Author's Note:**

> But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view  
> We'll live a long life  
> \- Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons

Louis sighs leaning against the bar looking at the mostly empty restaurant. They just finished with the lunch rush and things had settled down before the dinner one. He looked at Zayn who was wiping down a table. Zayn seems to feel his stare because he looks up and smiles, "are we done?". Louis looks at the clock on his phone and scowls at it. "5 more minutes" he grumbles at which Zayn laughs. It's not like Louis doesn't like his job, it's generally easy and well paid, but he just wanted to get home.

"Are you coming over tonight?" Louis asks tapping his fingers impatiently. Zayn walks over and nudges him "what do you think?" He says grinning.

Louis rolls his eyes and laughs "are you sure you have a place to live cause you're always at ours". Zayn shrugs "what can I say your roommate is hotter than mine" he says. Louis laughs "you don't have a roommate" he reminds him. Zayn looks at him and smirks before walking into the back of the restaurant. Louis chuckles again, Zayn had met Louis at work and they quickly became friends. Louis had invited him over one day and Zayn met Liam, Louis's roommate and best friend. They had started dating soon after that and like people say the rest is history. Looking at his phone Louis finds that it's exactly 4:30 and he can finally leave.

The one good thing about Zayn always being over is that he has a car. Louis couldn't afford one and Liam was a university student so public transportation had quickly become their friend before Zayn. The drive from work to the apartment is fairly short and Zayn always loved to crank the music. Louis closed his eyes and thought about how lucky he was to have his friends. After only knowing Liam for two years and Zayn just over one, they had all become inseparable.

Louis was filled with dread as he remembered the secret. Louis wasn't exactly human. He had a couple human/machine hybrid organs but the rest of him was all mechanical. The synthetic skin and visual features were top notch and nobody would be able to tell that he wasn't human. He could eat, breathe and sleep. Louis acted like a human and the only thing saying he wasn't, was his internal hardware.

That being said his friends had no idea. Liam knew that Louis had a bad past and that he doesn't like talking about it so Liam doesn't bother to ask about it. The rare times he does ask, Louis goes into a pretty intense anxiety attack. Louis past had not been the greatest and it scared him to think what would happen if his friends knew what he was. Robots that looked like humans had just started to make their way into society but it was still very new and most humans didn't approve of the idea.

Zayn looked at him oddly when they got to the apartment because generally Louis wasn't a quiet person. Louis shrugged and Zayn let it go. Another reason why he love his friends is that they never pushed for information. Liam greeted them both as they entered and Louis flopped on the couch. Zayn followed, turning on the tv to a random show. "Pizza tonight?" Louis asked looking up at Liam who was standing above him. "Yeah I called Niall, he's coming over later" he answered going to sit beside Zayn. Louis felt himself smile bigger. Liam had met Niall at school and he had fit in with their little group really well. Louis mostly loved Niall because he laughed at everything Louis said.

"He's also bringing over Harry" Liam said and Louis looked at him confused. "He goes to uni with me and Niall. Curly hair, green eyes and he is hilarious, you're gunna love him Lou" Liam says smirking.

Zayn's arm curls around Liam's waist pulling him closer and Louis rolls his eyes at the jealous reaction. "I don't want to witness this" Louis said gesturing to the couple "I'll be in my room, tell me when they're here" and he leaves the room before either one can say anything.

 

.  
.  
.  
As Louis lays in his bed he is overcome with a wave of loneliness. He's never really had anyone and in the past it was even worse.

It all started three years ago.

Louis was made for a family who had just lost their son. He looked exactly like their son and was programmed with his memories, all of his memories. HumanLouis had killed himself after coming out to his parents. His parents had been furious and yelled terrible things at him before sending him to his room. RobotLouis had every single memory and the ones from that night were the worst. The Tomlinson family had been so upset by their loss, that they had RobotLouis made a couple days later. Even at first it was uncomfortable.He could never fill the roll of their son, not when he had his own personality that was so different from HumanLouis's.

He had tried so hard to be like him but little slip ups made the parents very angry.

After they realized he was never going to be like their son they started treating him differently. Any kindness they had recently shown had vanished, he was just a reminder of what they lost. The big turning point happened around the one year mark of him being with the Tomlinson's. It was during a family dinner when Louis had said a comment offhandedly that outed him.

The wrath of the parents was something that Louis hoped he would never feel again.

They were furious that their replacement son had also come with a 'defect'. Needless to say, he was told to leave the house and to never return. Louis had been homeless for a while before meeting Liam. Liam had offered him a place to stay and they had quickly become friends. That was two years ago and now they share an apartment. Liam is the closest thing he has ever had to family, but if he knew that Louis was a robot that would all go away. Louis secret had to be protected, he couldn't loose Liam or Zayn.

"Louis get your ass out here" Niall's distinct voice yells from down the hall and Louis realizes he must have been trapped in his thoughts much longer than he expected.

Chuckling Louis leaves his bedroom and walks into the kitchen to see everyone already starting to eat pizza. Louis eyes up the new face in the room appreciatively, this must be Harry. Liam had forgot to mention that Harry looked like a sex god. "Hey, if you ate mine I'll slap you" Louis said shoving Niall away from the pizza. He was returned with Niall's loud laugh. "Wouldn't dare to touch your pizza Lou" Niall responded smirking. "Oh! Louis this is Harry, Harry this is Louis" Niall introduced with a mouthful of pizza. Harry made a disgusted face at him and Niall gave him an apologetic look. Harry looked at Louis and Louis was stunned at the colour of his eye, Liam had said they were green but not this green.

"Hey" Harry says with a smile and Louis eyes widen a bit when two dimples appear. "Hey" is the only response Louis can say. Niall laughs loudly at both of them. Louis rolls his eyes

"what movie are we watching?" He asks as they make they make their was into the living room to join Zayn and Liam, who have food already. Zayn says a movie title that Louis has never heard of so he shrugs in response.

.  
.  
.

The night was going well, the movie they were watching was about halfway through and they were stuffed on pizza. Harry had a great sense of humor and the conversation was easy. He had fit into their group perfectly. It was all going perfect until a certain scene started playing. One of the main characters was going through a rough time and Louis freezes when it all starts to seem too familiar. The teen reaches for the bottle of pills and starts taking all of them one by one.

Louis is shaking but can't look away.

Louis stares as the teen reaches for the blade. A horrible flashback from when HumanLouis died overtakes his mind. Louis shuts his eyes as he starts breathing erratically. All he can feel is how upset HumanLouis was, and the pain oh god the pain.

Liam is calling his name and when Louis opens his eyes the movie is paused and everyone is staring at him. He grabs the smokes off the coffee table, not caring if they're his or zayns, and heads out to the balcony without saying anything.

.  
.  
.  
Sitting on the ground so his back is pressed to the wall Louis tries to control his breathing.

 _'This is stupid, why am I breathing hard. I don't even have lungs, I don't even need to breathe'_ Louis thinks to himself but he knows it's do to the triggering memory.

Harry comes through the sliding door and sits down, facing him. He doesn't know why, but in a calming voice Harry gives Louis instructions to slow his breathing. It slowly starts to work and Louis pulls out a cigarette. He goes to light it but his hands are shaking too badly still. After swearing a couple times. Large hands take the lighter and help him light it. Louis takes a drag and feels his body relax at the feeling. He gives Harry a small smile and a quiet "thanks".

Harry's smile back is breathe taking. "Do you have anxiety attacks often?" He asks curiously. Louis shrugs, flicking the end of his cigarette ion the tray. Watching the ash falls he replies "only when a memory triggers one" he answers honestly. "Yeah Liam explained you had a bad past" Harry says and Louis feels uncomfortable. "Where did you learn those techniques?" Louis asks because they were actually helpful and he wanted to change the subject quickly. "I'm in med school" Harry says so nonchalantly that Louis laughs. "Lucky me then" he says before putting out the cigarette and standing up. He offers a hand to Harry and helps him up as well. "We should go finish the movie" Louis says opening the sliding door.

Louis sits beside Liam and sends him a smile letting him know he's okay. They start the movie again but Liam is still giving Louis worried looks. The rest of the movie is fine until another scene pops up reshowing the suicide. Louis freezes and he can't take it anymore.

"Hey Liam I just remembered, I have to run to the store to get something" Louis says in a tight voice. No one is fooled.

Liam looks at him pleading with his eyes "Louis don't do this" he begs. No matter how much it hurts, Louis ignores him and says goodbye to the boys. He grabs his wallet off of the side table and leaves.

 

.  
.  
.  
Louis knows he probably shouldn't have left like that, but the alcohol ebbs away at the guilt. He hates it but Liam's is probably use to this by now. Every time a really bad attack happens, Louis leaves for a few hours and comes back completely wasted or donning a new tattoo.

This time he's chosen both.

Stumbling into the apartment he traces the newest addition, a set of quotation marks on his wrist. He was suppose to be programmed to be the perfect son, to be HumanLouis. Say what he would have said and done what he would have done. But he fucked that up. He doesn't have a set dialogue, the programmers didn't work hard enough or the Tomlinson's couldn't afford it. He would bet on the latter.

The quotation marks are a reminder is that he is his own person no matter what he was initially intended for.

Next thing he knows, he is faced by Liam who looks like he can't decided if he's more mad or concerned. Harry, Niall and Zayn are spread out on the various furniture fast asleep.

"What did you get now" Liam asks, apparently deciding on not being angry. That makes Louis feel bad for a minute before the alcohol washes it away from his mind. Louis walks closer giving him a dopey grin and shows him his wrist. Liam's eyebrows furrow as he looks at the simple tattoo. "Why is it an empty quote?" Liam's asks confused. Louis has no filter when he's drunk but he knows he shouldn't say what he's about to say. "Because I am defective. I was made wrong li" he says it anyway. Liam obviously doesn't understand what he's saying. He sighed and helps lead Louis to his bedroom and tucks him in. Louis falls asleep instantly

 

.  
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The next morning Louis wakes up to loud voices that are unmistakenly the ones of his friends. They yelling is soon hushed but not completely silent. Louis doesn't get hangovers, though after last night he deserves one.

He walks quietly out of his room to see what's happening. He enters the living room to see all the boys crowded around a laptop.

"I just don't understand" Liam whispers. Louis is behind them now but their bodies are blocking the screen. "Don't understand what?" He asks curiously. They all jump and look at him wide eyed. He's confused until he looks down at the screen.

The we page has the obituary for HumanLouis. Of course there is no way to tell the different from the picture, they look the exact same. Louis takes a step back, he feels his breathing pick up. "We were worried about you, and since you never talk about it we wanted to know you're past so we googled you" Niall says looking sheepish.

"How do you explain that you died 3 years ago?" Zayn asks bluntly. It's always hard to read Zayn but he looks pretty angry at the moment. "I didn't die 3 years ago" Louis says automatically.

"Come on lou, are you really trying to tell me this isn't you? It looks just like you and has your information" Liam shoots back. Louis flinches, he wasn't ready for Liam's anger.

"That's not me" Louis says quietly, tears falling.

"Bullshit" Zayn yells and Louis flinches again. Louis takes a deep breath before responding.

"That's not me. I was created three years ago when the real Louis Tomlimson died". It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"You're one of those new robots aren't you?" Harry asks looking at him curiously, of course he would be the one to know.

Louis nods slowly feeling like his whole world was ending.

Wiping his tears, he struggles to breathe normally so he can talk. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way. I'll leave now" Louis says quietly looking at the floor before making his way to the door. To his surprise an arm reaches out and stops him before he can make it there. He is even more surprised when he is pulled into a hug that smells like Liam.

"I don't care, you're not leaving you idiot" Louis chuckles through his tears and for the first time, let's himself feel a flicker of hope.

.  
.  
.  
Louis explains his past to the boys and explained exactly what happened during his attack last night.

He also answers all of their ridiculous question, which included _"yes Niall just because I'm a robot I still have a dick"_.

They took it surprisingly well and when Louis voiced this thought, Liam shrugged and said that being a robot didn't take away the last two years of friendship. Louis hadn't ever felt so relieved.

Sitting on the couch, eating cold pizza and watching cartoons Louis is finally at peace. Harry puts his arm over Louis's shoulder and Louis snuggles in closer. Louis lets himself breathe freely without the burden of his secret. He smiles when he can feel Harry's laugh echo through his chest.

_Things were going to be okay._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! this is the first story I'm posting to AO3 (very nervous to how its going to be taken)
> 
> Wattpad: heyweareahurricane  
> twitter: apricitylouis  
> kik: heyweareahurricane


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